Meditations on what comes after

We lead our lives
In ignorant bliss
Chasing joy and laughter
But plagued are those
Who wish to know
The answer to what comes after

The Decision.
The beginning track to this album is the prequel to all subsequent songs on this album. This song was composed to convey the emotions I felt in the hours leading up to my attempted suicide. The songs after are each a separate meditation on what I might have found had I successfully taken my own life.

Gazing upon the empty throne of God.
This track represents the afterlife of Heaven, but upon entering the pearly gates, I find that God's throne is empty, as it has been for a long time.

All of this will happen again.
This track represents the afterlife of reincarnation into life after life. Repeating melodies crash over and over and overlap until their discernible melody is all but lost, like one’s memory after being born anew.


True Hate.
This track was heavily inspired by the story “I have no mouth, and I must scream.” By Harlan Ellison. So much so that the beginning of this track is a sampled excerpt from said short story. I imagined my soul trapped in an eternal limbo, neither living nor dead, just kept at the mercy of an unknowable power. And that power holds nothing but hate towards me.

Welcome to Infinity.
This piece is the first of three meditations on this album dealing with the idea that the afterlife is a vast, unflinching nothing. No heaven, no new life, just a ceaseless void. This track tells the story of my soul learning of its new eternity.

Unfathomable Beast in its tenuous sleep.
This track was heavily inspired by the works of H.P. Lovecraft. More specifically this track deals with the notion that everything we are, and everything we’ve ever known is a part of a dream that a massive being is having. The moment it wakes up, our everything is forgotten, and there is nothing we can do to stop it. In this track I picture myself In the great empty void, listening to this thing’s breathing, knowing that any one of those breaths could be the end of everything.

Closing statements before sentencing.
This track represents the second “heaven or hell” scenario of the album. I picture my soul sitting in an unpleasant situation, silently listening as two beings fight adamantly over whether I belong with the saints or the sinners. Bringing up all of my past accomplishments and shortcomings as I sit, nothing but a spectator.

Lost in Anger.
The sequel track dealing with the vast nothing after death. I imagine that now my soul has gotten used to it’s unpleasant state and has now become agitated at the mere thought of spending another second there let alone an eternity. Yearning to lash out with no body, cry with no eyes, and curse with no tongue. A truer hell than any biblical one.

I have made a grave mistake for I still feel everything.
The title of this song explains the main idea. After death, being nothing but a witness and victim to the cruel hands of time tearing away at the flesh. Feeling every last cell in the body break down, and chip away like the river cuts its way through a mountain face.

Overload before Oblivion.
The finale to the trilogy of oblivion after death scenarios as well as the album as a whole. This track tells the story of the trapped soul kept in darkness losing all sanity. Trading humanity for peace. For who’s to say which is better, keeping your sense of self while being burdened with everything you have knowledge of, or giving that up for the pity that is a blissfully unaware thing.